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Tuesday, September 1, 2009

14 Fears

Two months from today is my due date. Oh my Gosh. Ok so I have read a few of my friends blogs who have babies and a few blogs of people who I dont know.. and I have learned some things about birth and the first few weeks that NO ONE TALKS about. I wanted to see if any of you out there had more things to say about this. So in no order whatsoever.. here is my list.

1. The possibility of peeing when you start to push. Ok Heard about the poo.. but never even thought about peeing!~?

2. Mucus Plug. I have a friend who had no idea this was even coming and it was a shock when it did before her birth.

3. Uterus contractions. I just learned about this recently and maybe everyone knew about it before but me. And I guess it happens faster when you breastfeed. Does that mean it hurts more?!

4. A month of bleeding. I had no idea that you would be bleeding heavy for the first week or so like a period then that would be followed by annoying spotting daily.

5. Having to "dress" your wound every single time you go to the restroom. With the pad and sprays and tucks pads or whatever it is you have to do.

6. You cant drive for 6 weeks?! What the crap.. is this only for that one person? Someone tell me its not true.

7. Did you moms really feel very alone at first? Even if you had family/friends and Dad around?

8. Breastfeeding is not easy. I didn't know how hard it could be to breastfeed. I didn't know you are supposed to take classes BEFORE you even have the baby!? Or that your nipples will hurt so bad you will cry and not want to feed.

9. How hard is it really to take that first #2? Did you all drink lots of prune juice? I heard that pouring water on yourself at the same time you first pee also helps that to not sting so bad.

10. Did anyone have their partner pass out? I am only slightly worried about this since I don't want him to go past my waist - for many reasons, not just that I don't want him to pass out.

11. Postpartum is normal right? How can it not be? I think there are varying levels but how can you not feel a little crazy? Your life just CHANGE FOREVER and now you have to take care of and nurture another living human.

12. Babies poo is black the first time. They should pass it in the first few days, BUT it can take up to a week for some? I am very not normal when it comes to poo so that doesn't really shock me that much.

13. Do people really give you all the advice in the world? I heard that people would want to touch my belly all the time but I hardly have. I actually don't mind it at all. I think its a miracle that I can carry a baby inside me and I feel very lucky that I have made it this far with no complications. I am not sure how I will feel about everyone touching the baby. I can see why any new mom would not be ok with that.

14. Fear of C-sections. Of the emergency kind. I know way too many people who have had C-sections. Is that normal? Please list how many people you know who had one (emergency or not). I want my baby out the best way possible, and if that's a c-section fine. I am scared by the recovery time maybe the most and the fact you have to do it again unless you wait long enough for the scar to heal.. I don't know what that time is.

SIDE NOTE.. what do I really need in the delivery room? Music, snacks, socks, my favorite pillow? What do you really think I need.


Janet said...

Since I have three kids, I thought I would answer some questions. It's perfectly normal to start worrying about all these things as your delivery date draws closer. It's strange to think that this little gift you've carried around for all this time will have to come out of you. As for peeing, they normally put a cathater in you to prevent you from peeing on the dr, so don't worry about that. I never noticed the mucus plug with JD. With Alec I barely made it to the hospital. I felt that come out, but it's not a big deal. You want your uterus to contract after the birth to get it back to it's normal size. They will start to massage your stomach pretty much right after you give birth. Breastfeeding helps with this. When the baby sucks,it contracts the uterus which is not the most comfortable thing, but you want your uterus to go back to it's original size. Bleeding can last for a while. It can be like a very heavy period for a few weeks. The pads are like big diapers between your legs. They will probably give you ice packs for your youhoo in the hospital. They really help with the swelling and pain. I never felt alone after giving birth. I just couldn't stop holding and staring at my babies. The first #2 can be painful. Metacmucil or some type of fiber thing is helpful to make things softer and keep you from putting so much pressure on that area. Expect some form of postpartum. You will probably be very weepy while your body tries to adjust to all the hormone changes. But, hopefully, it won't last too long. Yes, babies first poo is a black, tar looking substance. Enjoy that because then it turns into shooting yellow poo that gets everywhere! :) I've never had a c-section, but don't worry about that. Even if you end up needing one, everything will be fine. The recovery will be a bit longer, but I'm sure you'll be able to delivery vaginally. And yes, everyone will give you advice. Everyone will think they know the best way to care for your baby. Remember it is your baby and noone will know that baby as well as you. It really will all come to you and you will both figure eachother out. It may take a little time, but be patient. The less stressed you can be, the more relaxed the baby will be. As for the delivery room, bring anything that gives you comfort. Music, pillows, stuffed animals, something to massage your back. People used to use tennis balls to roll on the lower back to relieve pain. Especially if you are having back labor. As for snacks, once your are in labor, it's ice chips for you baby!! Tony can have snacks. I don't know if you are planning on an epideral or not, but don't think you are a wimp if you want some pain relief. I had two with pain meds, and Alec without because I got to the hospital too late. I recommend the meds. Either way, you will still be a mom in the end. I know there are a lot of scary things coming up. It will hurt, you will have pain afterwards, breastfeeding is painful, but NONE of that will matter when you hold that sweet little baby in your arms. I hope my info has helped a little. Love you and Tony!!!

Deanna said...

Here's my answers:
1. I've never heard of peeing, but don't worry about it if anything but baby comes out, you'll never be the wiser.
2. The plug is nothing to be scared of, but I was always joyous because I knew the end was near...and you won't necessarily have one.
3. I'm assuming you mean after birth contractions. With my first baby it felt like normal menstrual cramps mostly when feeding baby...last 3-5 days. With baby #2 and #3 it was like labor all over again and I took lots of pain killers...after birth contractions usually get worse with each baby, but with #4 they weren't too bad, but could be because I had other 'problems' going on that distracted me from that.
4. yes...period type bleeding first week then spotting for up to 6 weeks post partum...mine usually went away at week 5 then again for a week then a little more for a week after that. No more than a nuisance though.
5. If they give you a sitz bath take it...they are very refreshing. :) And the 'dressing' depends on your 'injuries' I've had everything from the ice packs and iodine to just 'cleaning supplies'....main thing is you can't or dont' want to wipe too much there so they give you a nice squirt bottle to rinse things off a bit then pat dry. ;)
6. With normal deliveries I waited usually a week to drive, but once only waited a few days.
7. I did feel alone as I didn't have anyone who lived here at that time who was my age or having babies. I made lots of online friends instead.
8. BF is not easy. I suggest having a lactation consultant help you if available...even if you think you are doing it right. It took me 3 babies to get it right. I won't tell you all my horror stories, but between the 4 babies I've been through it all....if you have any problems or concerns feel free to email me! :)
9. My hospital starts post partum moms on stool softeners from day 1.
10. Matt never passed out but stayed out of line of sight for most part. I think there were a couple of babies he saw actually being born, but never ever wanted to cut the umbilical cord.
11. I had PPD pretty bad with #1 and #4. If you feel concerned about it I'll be glad to share my stories with you through email.
12. My babies had the meconium starting from day 1 and usually started normal poop by the time we got home...when your milk comes in (mine did on day 2 usually) it starts becoming 'normal'. I've never changed too many meconium poops since we were in the hospital and the nurses or Matt usually got them. ;)
13. As long as you are a mother you will receive some unsolicited advice. Some good and some bad.
14. I know of many who've had C-sect and I know of several who've had successful vbac's too. I almost had an emergency one with my 1st, but I've never actually had one with any baby.

Hope this helps some Crystal. :)

raschel said...

hey, i started to respond to this and it's LONG, so what's your email address?

Crystal Corona said...

Thanks Janet and Deanna you two have both had 3 or more so you have much experience between you and I really appreciate the stories and you being so honest.

Crystal Corona said...

I FORGOT ABOUT THE cathater.. I am scared of that too! This lady who I read about who peed must not have had that. I have never had one and I still can't imagine how that happens...I know where it comes out but I don't see how they are going to fit anything in there!

Deanna said...

Oh and to take with you~
For you:
*roll of really soft toilet paper (you'd think on the maternity floor they would provide soft toilet paper, but it's the really cheap scratchy stuff)
*sweat socks
*pillow...put a colorful pillowcase on it so it doesn't get confused with the white hospital ones
*cute comfy knit jammies (I just bought regular ones size large) I like to get out of the hospital gown asap
*cute simple maternity outfit to wear home (I liked my fave belly band waist jeans and a plain tee) there's nothing more hard to look at yourself still looking pregnant with an empty baby house, so you don't want anything that screams maternity wear
*lanolin cream

For baby:
*gown with the elastic at the bottom...this is what my babies wore for the first few weeks til they could fit in the newborn stuff. plus they have cuffs that you can pull over their hands so they don't rip up their faces with the tiny sharp nails they are born with
*baby socks
*baby nail clippers
*blanket for going home with
*cute outfit and hat for going home
*lots of burp cloths (get a package of cheap cloth diapers to use for burp cloths)

Crystal Corona said...

Thanks so much everyone!!! I hope more future moms can read this and learn!

Amber said...

You need lanolin cream for your breast because they hurt really bad when you first start feeding but mine didnt hurt by the time I went home. The worst part for me was that I bled for 6 weeks afterwards. I didnt know I would bleed so much. There were a few days i thought i was going to bleed to death. It was like i was peeing blood. I lived -haha. I called and the nurse said that was normal, I still dont know if it is. It does hurt a little to pee but nothing to fear. I had a 3rd degree episionomy(if thats how you spell it), and I was very tender down there for a long time. Take stool softeners and your poop will be fine. I would even take them now with your prenatal vitamins. It is getting close- very excited for you .